To take arms against a sea of troubles

Week two of tour is in the books.  It was filled with the normal SBTS tour problems, instead of the fucking terrifying, life-threatening, injury-inducing troubles we've encountered up til now.  Our sea of troubles this week included dangerous heat levels, broken stairs, lack of power, long driving distances, getting caught in sprinklers, and utter exhaustion.  So, pretty standard week two of tour.

Wednesday, we drove to the center of the sun, or at least it was as far away and felt as hot.  Mission Viejo.  How do people survive in that heat?  I can't say, but I did notice that nobody but us was wearing Victorian era clothing.  The audience was lovely, and the show happened, and I think it was good.  We were pretty much in survival mode, so I can only say that I was good and didn't fuck anything up.  My carpool buddy, Tara, and I were planning to drive through Taco Bell after, but it was closed, which turned out to be a blessing, because we found this 24 hr. Taco place that had delicious tacos and Mexican Coke-a-Cola.  It was much needed.

Thursday and Friday we were in Manhattan Beach.  Thank the lord above!  Not only is that very close to my home, but it's a place that holds so many special memories for me.  Not just with SBTS, but my eldest kid and I would go there a lot when they were tiny to play and see the ducks and turtles.  We also had both of our filmed there by a member of the most important family in the SBTS universe.  Chris Burke, who I have posted still pictures of from when he shot us, is a documentary filmmaker, so to have him on board to shoot our shows this year is such a blessing.  And the rest of that wonderful family show up every night, bring us pizza, help build and take down the set, and a million other things. These are the truest friends and patrons of the arts.  They have been in our lives for several years, and I don't know if we would have made it through this summer without them.  I really don't.

(Chis Burke took this photo which shows not only Toby, but me at the end of a night.  Broken, but smiling and gritting through it)


We discovered that we didn't have power on Thursday night for Twelfth Night. We ended up starting late, and with only half of our lights working. But the show was really good, and the audience loved it! Friday, we had full power for Hamlet.  Also, Trevor rebuilt our stairs before the show Friday, because that's just something that he can do.  My friends, Trever is a fucking gem!  Find yourself a Trevor, and never let go! He did get a little broken at the end of the night, when the sprinklers came on and started raining down on us and our set as we were loading in.  It sort of broke us all a little.  No power on the first day, and then sprinklers on the second. Still those two nights were amazing, despite those hiccups.  Also, the second round of young actors doing Hamlet at that camp up in Idyllwild came to watch it. It was once again, very good for our collective souls to interact with these theatre kids who are about to perform Hamlet themselves. 

I don't know the name of the woman who runs that camp, but she is priceless!  She is so smart about Shakespeare and what a gift she provides young actors, giving them the opportunity to not only perform a play from the canon, but to bring them all the way down to watch professionals perform it to inspire and enlighten them. She says it is a transformative experience when they come and see it.  I love that I'm part of that, and that is what I will probably miss most about SBTS.  I have been part of so many lives and part of so many family traditions involve seeing us every year.  It makes me think of when I was an 8th grader and I saw Mark Medoff's "Midsummer Night's Dream," at New Mexico State University.  It was amazing, and several of those actors actually came to my Jr. High and talked to us after.  Being in the reverse role so many years later is really uplifting and joyous. On top of that joy, we had, without a doubt, our best performance of Hamlet to date.  Everybody was in it and on fire.  I felt great!  Steph even texted me the next day to affirm that opinion.  Of course, that made me wonder how much better I would be right now if I hadn't lost so much time to physical and psychological pain.  Certainly, I would have been where I am now with Claudius when we opened.  But this is all part of the game I shouldn't be playing...what if that never happened?

My good feelings about Claudius, were, sadly, short lived. Saturday was rough. I love Santa Ana!  It's a great city.  I worked at Wayward Artist Theatre a couple of years ago, and I love that little area so much.  I didn't love the drive then, nor did I this week.  It's not quite as far as the center of the sun, but it's as far as Mercury, and as hot.  Plus, we were all really dragging on Saturday.  I didn't feel good about my Claudius.  And I don't think anybody came off that hot, sweaty stage, feeling particularly good about their nights either.  We were just spent.  The drive, the heat, the small crowd, and the fact that there had to be locked gates around our park to make sure we were safe contributed to a weird vibe.  Also, in years past, the senior center that was attached, would come out and have a section of seating set up, and then we would tour their center after, where they had created artwork based on our plays.  They did send us some art projects that they had been working on, but for whatever reason, they weren't in attendance.  This was the only time this week that my PTS got triggered.  Walking out of that park to the parking lot, into groups of young men being loud was a lot for this tired-ass, broken man.  But this too did pass.

Tonight, we were in South Pasadena.  That's right, we were in Mission Viejo on Wednesday, Manhattan Beach after that, then back down to Orange County's Santa Ana after that, and then way up in South Pasadena tonight.  This is the true definition of insanity.  It was more humid than hot tonight, but don't get me wrong, it was also hot.  However, there was a buoyancy in the group tonight.  Even those of us who are in both shows.  Perhaps it was the light at the end of the tunnel, or maybe it was just relief that we could do a comedy after so much tragedy, but mostly it was probably because the audience was very large and very invested in the show from jump!  

I got to catch up with some old friends after, which was wonderful, plus most of the cast actually went out together to a bar after the show and drank overpriced liquor, and played "would you rather," and other silliness together.  It was nice to get the set loaded into the truck in decent time tonight so we could hang after.  We have two of the most beautiful sets we've ever had!  However, it is bigger than any sets we've ever had, and we have the fewest cast members we've ever had.  So, it's rough.  This is yet another unintended consequence of AB5.  All Cali theatres have to have smaller casts now, and since our cast is our crew, this is a double whammy.  

It feels good to be getting back to some normalcy.  I'm not letting my trauma control me, and I was even free and happy onstage most of the week, and not worried that somebody was going to come up and shoot me.  Baby Steps. I do feel guilty that I simply can't go back to Pt. Fermin for our final two performances.  It's always such a beautiful goodbye to our season, and the crowds are huge.  But sadly this version of me is trying to take care of myself better.  I should probably tell that to this version of me that is still doing way too much with my damaged hand.  But, I have too much stupid pride to not pitch in. 

Next week is another long one.  Beverly Hills for Hamlet on Wednesday, Encino for Twelfth Night on Thursday, back to South Pas on Friday for Hamlet, then both shows in my back yard in Torrance on Saturday and Sunday.  It's also a sort of farewell to these venues for me.  Knowing I won't be doing this anymore is bittersweet to downright sad.  But it's time.  

Hope to see you at one of these stops.



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